That’s right, Russell. Bring on the hate. I can take you. Well, it’s election season. I know that I’ve already done a post on this subject. But it’s making me angry. So it comes back to haunt us.
Side note: This post originally contained a lot of very strong language. But then I decided that it probably wasn’t appropriate, and did a radio edit. So if you see a word or phrase inside these symbols «», it was originally a lot ruder. You can just use your imagination to fill in the gaps. Or if you ask very nicely, I might make a password-protected post with the original full-guns-blazing language.
If you don’t know who he is, Russell Brand is a comedian who is a big advocate of the whole ‘Don’t Vote’ campaign. He thinks that young people who are angry with the establishment shouldn’t keep voting for one of two incredibly flawed parties. He thinks that if you don’t care, you should drop out. Stick it to the man and all that.
What a load of «silliness».
If the people who have neutral opinion don’t vote, it leaves the doorway wide open for all the nutters to get in. Case in point, UKIP. Nigel Farage (pronounced ‘farridge’, on order of me and the liberals) is the leader of the United Kingdom Independence Party. There’s a lot I could say about how he’s a racist quasi-Nazi «chap» with no actual policies,and how everyone who votes for UKIP is bringing the UK closer to a dictatorship. But instead I will show you this picture, which sums up my feelings pretty well.
In South Thanet, the constituency where Farage is expected to win (although Al Murray might have something to say about that), the turnout last election was about 60%. In other words, four in ten didn’t vote. And the latest polls show that UKIP are on course to win by about 5%.
So if those 40% were to all show up on May 7th and vote Labour (the second place party) then Labour would have a pretty secure majority. If you go with the Russell Brand school of thought (“Don’t vote! It only encourages them!”) then it doesn’t really «dismay» the establishment. It gives the people who support the establishment the space to expand and prosper, mostly under racist organisations like UKIP, the BNP or the National Front (Google at your own risk of radicalisation).
Realising that, I was trying to think of a way to «disagree with» the system but still vote. And I got one.
Vote for the sheep. In an informal survey of my friends, when people were presented with the statement “If a sheep was running for MP, would you vote for it?”, the majority of people said yes. Although that may just be a reflection of my friends. But still, in a constituency consisting entirely of my friend, it would be a close tie between a victory for the Greens and the National Sheep Party. We are such liberals.
Now being a radical anti-UKIP informer, I’m going to take the chance to point out a few UKIP policies that seem a bit «out there». If you haven’t been following the election or happen to be a UKIP-voting «silly-billy», I highly recommend reading the following polices and (if you are voting for them) giving your political opinions a once-over with a hammer, sautéing lightly until brown and then throwing into a well. List of genuine UKIP policies:
- Anyone not born in the UK would be evicted. Even if you have been living here for 70 years and are an integral part of the NHS. Out on the doorstep. And if you have any children under the age of 18, they go with you.
- To leave the EU. Despite the multiple billions of pounds in trade we get from the EU, and the £5 billion that immigrants add to the economy every year. That’s a real number.
- To reintroduce the cane to schools. Because children these days don’t know what it’s like to be punished, and deserve to be beaten for arguing in favour of foreigners.
- Doctor Who, Strictly Come Dancing and Top Gear to be banned. “Because the BBC is too left-wing and should be public service only
- To spend NHS money on trying to cure homosexuality. Seriously? They tried that last time, and ended up killing Alan Turing.
- To abort any babies proven to be disabled in the womb. That is actually eugenics. That is selectively allowing people to live or die based on a decision they have no hand in making. Eugenics is bad, kids.
If you are considering voting UKIP and just read that, give your own life a long hard look. If one of your friends or loved ones is considering voting UKIP, send them a link to this. If you are a UKIP candidate, go die in a hole you «unpleasant» racist xeneophobic «mean person» of a «horse’s behind». Mother«nasty people»s.
So my message for those of you in the UK: please, please, please vote. Even if you vote for Conservatives (elitist scum), then that’s still a vote against the nut cases. Ideally, vote Green. If not, vote Labour. Don’t even bother with the Liberal Democrats. If the leader’s own constituency is at risk, don’t even bother. This is another filler post, just because by the end of next post the election will be right on top of our heads and I want to give people some time to think. Hang in for it, guys. It’s going to be awesome.